You may have noticed that when you are stressed, your PMS symptoms such as mood swings, irritability, poor concentration, depression and basic crabbiness are worse? Many studies, have, over the years identified the connection between stress and PMS, but it’s never been clear which if one was responsible for causing the other.

So, in an effort to tease this out, researchers from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development tracked over 250 women to find the answer to this question – whether PMS causes stress or whether stress exacerbates PMS symptoms.

The women were asked how often they felt unable to control their lives, and how often they felt nervous, for example. Study participants who reported a lot of stress 2 weeks before their periods were 2-3 times more likely to report moderate or severe discomfort before and during menstruation than women who were not under stress.

All of the women in the study were followed for more than one cycle; among women who reported stress in one month and not in the next month, the more stressful month was, on average, followed by worse symptoms of PMS. The results were the same even when adjusted for variables such as age, education, smoking status and weight-to-height ratio.

It is not totally clear why stress might affect a woman’s physical comfort and mood even weeks later, before and during her period. But stress is a hormonal process, just like most of what goes on in the reproductive system.  Changing levels of ovarian hormones or production of cortisol seem to be the most likely explanations.

So, if PMS is something you struggle with, try a little extreme self-care.  A day at the spa can’t hurt!

It’s that season again.

The season when the species known as “Mothers of Freshmen” begin to cry.  I have been coaching my aerobics instructor, Lisa, through the past few months as her daughter begins her transition to college.  High school graduation, how much allowance she needs at school, how to make it through college drop-off, how long the sadness will last.

I remember dropping my baby off at college as clearly as if it happened yesterday (and she’s 22 now).

Her dorm room was tiny. Two people were going to live in a space that was significantly smaller than the room she’d had at home.

Motherly worries were everywhere and my Inner Piglet was running wild…lofted beds (what if someone fell off), a closet the size of a shoebox (how’s all the stuff going to fit in there?), a co-ed dorm (couldn’t even go there), etc. etc.

I cried all the way home.  And for the better part of the next 3 weeks.  Everything set me off.  But then, almost magically, it stopped.  I knew she was happy and safe and settled.  And I was only an hour away.  I began to enjoy the peace and quiet and a routine that wasn’t marked by Caroline’s comings and goings.  I could actually use the family room my husband and I had affectionately named “Camp Caroline”.

Lisa asked me what was the biggest hurdle was for me about this transition.  I had never really given it a lot of thought, but here’s my answer.

Heading off to college marks the beginning of a new chapter.  A chapter that means a new relationship with your child, punctuated with independence and adult responsibilities.  The chapter in life’s book where the “Mommy” character finally sees her 18-year investment pay off.  I realized that my daughter was really leaving home and how much I would miss her despite all the mess and occasional squabbles.

But even though they’re gone, they still need us…even if they won’t admit it.  I can’t ever remember a time where I felt like it was more important to keep the lines of communication open.  You may not hear from your child very often at first as they test their independence, but gradually a routine develops that feels more normal.

So for Lisa and all of the other MOFs reading this, here are my top 5 transition survival tips:

• Listen.
• Say no occasionally.  My “no’s” were generally around requests for more money.  I knew I was providing enough money to meet my daughter’s basic needs.  It was up to her to learn how to budget it.  It’s impossible to learn this skill with a parental cash machine in the background!
• Give your opinion when asked.  Otherwise, see #1.
• Let them take the lead on frequency of communication.  This was the advice given to parents in freshman orientation…and it served my daughter and me well, although it was hard for me at first.
• Get back in touch with yourself.  Most of us spend the majority of our time focused on our children during the time they are at home.  The college transition offers us a chance to get to know ourselves (and our partners) all over again.  Take advantage of this!

Welcome to the next chapter…and enjoy it!

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.   -Jim Ryun

Quitting smoking. Eating better. Exercising more. Starting a gratitude journal.

New habits can be tough to establish!  Research shows that it takes about 3-4 weeks to get a new habit ingrained into your life.

This month’s NAWHC A3 Challenge is teaching participants a lot about how tough seemingly small changes can be…and that unexpected barriers are lurking everywhere.  But they’re sticking to their goals and making great progress.  There success is due to a number of things but the big reasons are their internal motivation, the accountability focus of the group, and the fact that we’re breaking down their goals down into very small bite-sized pieces.

So, no matter what you’re trying to accomplish, these 7 tips can help you create lasting momentum when you’re trying to make positive changes in your life.

1. Change one habit at a time.  It’s difficult to truly focus on more than one task at a time.  Decrease the chances of going into overwhelm by choosing one change to make.

2. Write your plan/goal down.  Committing your plan to paper increases your odds of success.  Writing makes your ideas makes you more clear and focuses you on your end result.

3.  Get some support.  Whether it’s a spouse or an accountability buddy, find someone who will be your cheerleader and /or hold your feet to the fire if needed.  EVERY ONE of the women in our A3 Challenge has said “there’s no way I”d do this if I didn’t have to report back to the group every week”.

4. Know your WHY?  Take the time to understand what is behind your motivation to change.  Make sure whatever you’re considering doing is something that is actually important to YOU.  Trying to implement a change because someone else wants you to do it is a setup for failure.

5. Anticipate barriers.  You know where the “land mines” are in your life!  Acknowledge them in advance and think about what you’ll do when one of them is in your path!

6. Stay with it. Three to four weeks is all the time you need to make a habit automatic.  If you can make it through this initial phase, your new habit becomes much easier to sustain. A month is a good block of time to commit to a change since it easily fits in your calendar.

7. Reward your success.  This is the fun part!  A shopping trip,  a spa day, a long hike…. whatever feels like a real treat for you….plan your reward in advance so you’ll have something to look forward to.