5 Ways to Create Concrete Connections

May 18th, 2010 -- Posted in Relationships | No Comments »

Don’t you just love it when you have a warm and positive exchange with another person?

It may be a friend you haven’t see in a while, an acquaintance you bump into while doing errands, or the clerk behind the counter that looks you in the eyes and greets you with a genuine smile.

We come into contact with so many people, but in our “busyness”, we often fail to really “see” each other and make a genuine connection.  We move so quickly that we don’t see anything or anyone that is not moving as fast as we are.

What if we stopped and gave the people we encounter an actual, honest hello? What if, just for a few seconds, we paused to be present, enjoy the moment and let go of our busyness.  If you’re like me, even thinking about doing this make me feel less hurried and just a little more calm!

When we take the time to see who another person really is beyond the surface, it frees us to be our true selves. It is from this space that we can make heartfelt and rewarding connections.

Here are 5 tips that can help us cement our connections with the people who are in our lives:

• Make time for each other.  It’s hard to build a good relationship with someone if you don’t spend any time together.  If you’re married and have children at home, plan a weekly date night with your spouse or significant other.  If it’s your best friend you’re missing, schedule lunch or dinner. None of this has to be elaborate….it’s really all about creating a system so the time together isn’t just left up to chance.
• Be present. Pay attention and really listen to what someone has to say.
• Be an extreme encourager. Find out what the other person’s goals and challenges are. Be encouraging, and do what you can to help her succeed.
• Celebrate. Research has shown that a difference between good and poor relationships is how partners respond to each other’s good news. People who are close respond with enthusiasm and joy, rather than indifference, envy, or anxiety.
• Lose the agenda.  Make time for fun, laughter, and goofing off and with nothing else!

So, the next time you’re tempted to avoid someone because you think you don’t have time to talk, consider making a different choice. Connecting with people, sharing with them, learning from them, experiencing with them and understanding them, is what brings real joy and meaning in life.